just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
