ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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