Please, let me fuck your mom
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize