Umm I'm too high to move.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
