I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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