I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
