Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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