vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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