he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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