he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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