She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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