i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Terrible idea I love it
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
