Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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