it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
