He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
