I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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