like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Houston, we have a blender
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
