We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
