Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
