You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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