I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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