youre lurking in front of me
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
