i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
