You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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