She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
