Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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