Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
