What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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