it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
