The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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