He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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