i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
tell me about the fingering
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