Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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