Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
