I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
40s are totally the cure
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
