Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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