After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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