her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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