You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
