it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
