That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
