awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
