It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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