hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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