Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
