butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
