it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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