I just cut my nipple shaving
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize