You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
