1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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