is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
The Olympian is in my bed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
