OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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