I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
