Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
