drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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