Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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