So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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