Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Randomize
