hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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