you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
there is glitter all over my balls
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
