They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My vagina is officially offended.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
